Not Alone

Is today the day that they find a cure,
for this depression, anxiety and feeling insecure?
Will this be a lifelong road?
Will this be a lifelong war?
I can't seem to get up anymore,
I don't have the same strength as I did before.

Broken hearted, shattered mind, lost soul,
Relentless demons, shaky foundation that doesn't seem to hold
my sins.
Feeling joyless and my anxiety starts to kick in,
Trying to fight it, trying to shake them off,
I have a family to think about and this game has changed.

I am no longer living for me, but for them,
The abundance of love that they continue to send
is what keeps me from going insane.
Battle after battle, war after war,
Over and over it seems to go on in my brain.

I can do this,
I have done this,
so many times that I should believe
that I can again.
My family's worth more than this empty
void and neverending pain.

It's like a thunderstorm that ceases to calm,
it's the hail and the heavy rain,
it's the cold winds that go one inside.

You can't feel them,
you can't see them,
but that doesn't make it any less real.
But alas, it's their hugs and love
that help me start to heal.

My little one is what keeps me from going back
deeper into that dark sinkhole,
My wife is what keeps me from completely losing my soul.

What I'm trying to say is,
every day is a struggle and my demons will always fight me,
but I am not alone in this and my loved ones provide what I need
to continue on, to not give in and not give up.
To get up every morning and do it all over again.
They are my medicine for this pain.

Published by Beipher

I have been writing poetry since a teenager but did not have the courage to really show it off. It wasn't until I had some tools as I battled depression and mental illness. They are still a part of me, which you will see for yourself. My writing is dark and raw.

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