I do not deserve to be on this earth
Too many fuck ups, I am sure you have heard
One screw up sends me back to my hole
Can’t control that of which you don’t own
Feeling lost, too few rights and far too many wrongs
It feels like I am just the watcher and simply do not belong
To use this body and soul that of which I am told, I am withdrawn
Shattered… scattered… brain
Will you mend your broken pieces, for me?
Try and understand that I had to shatter my broken intact mind
In order for me to rebuild it into a functioning healthy eye?
I question my own existence in times where I feel away
Will those around me simply continue to be OK?
Will I miss them as much as they would miss me?
Am I the beneficiary in our relationship and that by leaving there will be some relief?
Weathered… hardened… heart
Will you beat for me like you did before all this fell apart?
I know, I have not taken care of you like I should
My focus is always elsewhere and hardly on you
You bind allegiances and break friendships
Rich or poor, you don’t have a preference if you’re telling
As all joy and pain traverses through your great dwelling
Therefore I plea, please forgive me and help restore me
Forgive my past habits and wrongdoings
Unless every action was an irrespirable offense
For which you will hold me responsible for these transgressions?
I can only be completely open for you to see my wrongs
And you can judge me then